Corrections and clarifications: This story was updated to clarify that fines are sometimes settled for less than the total amount.
We’re all prepared to turn off our electronic devices, put our seats in an upright position and fasten our seatbelts for departure.
But what would you do if you were on an airplane and someone started flinging water on you in a Satanic ritual? Or a fellow passenger bolted out of the lavatory — buck naked? What if someone asked you to put a bet on whether your flight would land?
Weird stuff happens 30,000 feet in the air.
Weird stuff happens so much that the Federal Aviation Administration can fine people up to $25,000 each for their unruly behavior — though the agitated passengers often settle for less, according to a USA TODAY Network investigation. In researching the report, they acquired 135 U.S. Department of Transportation orders assessing civil penalty.
Here are 14 of the most ridiculous nuggets, and the proposed fines the incidents warranted. Believe us, you’ll never be more grateful for your last uneventful flight:
1. The rogue planker: $7,700 fine
Adam Nicodemus, passenger on a Virgin America flight from Philadelphia to San Francisco, on Oct. 30, 2013
According to the report, Nicodemus grabbed the wrist/arm of the person next to him, then started planking as the flight began its descent, falling on a fellow passenger.
2. The handsy one: $3,800 fine
Alan Johnson, passenger on a United flight from Chicago to Denver on Feb. 16, 2010
According to the report, Johnson grabbed the butts of flight attendants, threw water at one of them, pressed up against a passenger and then refused to sit down until asked several times.
3. The Nook superfan: $11,000 fine
Angelique Gettle, passenger on a Southwest flight from Albuquerque, N.M., to Los Angeles on April 21, 2013
According to the report, Gettle just would not, under any circumstances, turn off her Nook e-reader and stow it away, causing the flight to return to the gate.
NATION NOW
In the air and off the deep end: 14 crazy flight reports
Lindsay DeutschUSA TODAY Network
Take a look at 14 of the FAA’s wildest reports about incidents that happened on airplanes.
Corrections and clarifications: This story was updated to clarify that fines are sometimes settled for less than the total amount.
We’re all prepared to turn off our electronic devices, put our seats in an upright position and fasten our seatbelts for departure.
But what would you do if you were on an airplane and someone started flinging water on you in a Satanic ritual? Or a fellow passenger bolted out of the lavatory — buck naked? What if someone asked you to put a bet on whether your flight would land?
Weird stuff happens 30,000 feet in the air.
Weird stuff happens so much that the Federal Aviation Administration can fine people up to $25,000 each for their unruly behavior — though the agitated passengers often settle for less, according to a USA TODAY Network investigation. In researching the report, they acquired 135 U.S. Department of Transportation orders assessing civil penalty.
Here are 14 of the most ridiculous nuggets, and the proposed fines the incidents warranted. Believe us, you’ll never be more grateful for your last uneventful flight:
1. The rogue planker: $7,700 fine
Adam Nicodemus, passenger on a Virgin America flight from Philadelphia to San Francisco, on Oct. 30, 2013
According to the report, Nicodemus grabbed the wrist/arm of the person next to him, then started planking as the flight began its descent, falling on a fellow passenger.
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2. The handsy one: $3,800 fine
Alan Johnson, passenger on a United flight from Chicago to Denver on Feb. 16, 2010
According to the report, Johnson grabbed the butts of flight attendants, threw water at one of them, pressed up against a passenger and then refused to sit down until asked several times.
3. The Nook superfan: $11,000 fine
Angelique Gettle, passenger on a Southwest flight from Albuquerque, N.M., to Los Angeles on April 21, 2013
According to the report, Gettle just would not, under any circumstances, turn off her Nook e-reader and stow it away, causing the flight to return to the gate.
4. The basket-case: $3,300 fine
Bethany Russell, passenger on a United flight from San Francisco to Boston on May 13, 2011
According to the report, Russell failed to remain seated, yelled to a crew member, “I’m going to sue you all,” started crying hysterically, asked to meet the Federal Air Marshals, grabbed a flight attendant and more.
5. The Spiderman: $8,885 fine
Bradley Bishop, passenger on an American Airlines flight from Shanghai to Chicago on June 8, 2010
The report lists “erratic and irritating behavior” including but not limited to wandering around the cabin, looking through flight attendants’ personal belongings, rubbing soap over the mirrors and counters in the restroom, climbing in the restroom “Spiderman”-style, taking passengers’ sleeping electronics and more. He was restrained with wrist and ankle cuffs, and kept in the flight crew’s bunk area.
6. The fear monger: $4,000 fine
Daniel Brady, passenger on a Midwest Airlines flight from Milwaukee to Kansas City, Mo., on Nov. 8, 2006
During taxiing, Brady would not stop “continually speaking about death, dying, and the possibility that the aircraft would crash.”
7. The jail breaker: $20,400 fine
Greg Surman, passenger on a Hawaiian Airlines flight from Sydney to Honolulu on Jan. 27, 2010
According to the report, Surman yelled profanities and would not listen to flight attendants when they told him to calm down. He was restrained, but broke free and had to be pinned down, causing the plane to divert to Fiji.
8. The naked guy: $27,500 fine
Samuel Latham, passenger on a Horizon Airlines flight from Medford, Ore., to Los Angeles on Dec. 5, 2009
According to the report, Latham ran out of the restroom naked, pushed two crew members and had to be restrained. After the flight landed, a still-naked Latham tried to get to the flight deck, was restrained and bit one of the people who restrained him. Yikes.
9. The Satan water man: $27,500 fine
Stanley Sheffield, passenger on a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Tampa, Fla., on April 22, 2010
According to the report, Sheffield sprinkled water while referencing Satan, ripped the paper towel bin from the wall of the lavatory and threatened to blow up the plane. He was restrained and the plane had to make an unscheduled landing in Albuquerque, N.M.
10. The biter: $21,850 fine
Jack Parlin, passenger on an Alaska Airlines flight from Anchorage to Seattle on March 23, 2012
According to the report, Parlin did not become agitated until the flight landed. Then he got up and rushed through first class to the flight deck door before being stopped by a flight attendant. When the plane got to the gate, Parlin did it again, this time attempting to open the door. He then bit the first officer who stopped him. Police handcuffed him, took him to jail and he was charged with second degree assault.
11. The in-flight paparazzi: $2,200 fine
Leon Saperstein, passenger on a Delta flight from New York City to San Francisco on April 6, 2011
How creepy. According to the report, Saperstein made those around him uncomfortable by repeatedly taking photos of them, then refusing at first to surrender the camera.
12. The “Out!” man: $38,500 fine
Reynel Alcaide, passenger on a Continental Airlines flight from Houston to Chicago on May 8, 2011
According to the report, Alcaide got out of his seat while the plane was in the air, ran to the front of the plane and accosted a flight attendant screaming, “Out!” Then he pinned the flight attendant against an exit door and tried to open it. He was restrained, placed in handcuffs and escorted off the plane by local authorities after it diverted to St. Louis, Mo.
13. Mr. “Surprise in your pants”: $1,000 fine
David Robinson, passenger on a Southwest flight from Birmingham, Ala., to Jacksonville, Fla., on March 10, 2009
Pro tip: When someone asks you to not talk to them, don’t tell them you have a “surprise in your pants.” According to the report, Robinson asked a flight attendant out and was persistent — to the point of getting intimidatingly physical. Then, after being refused alcohol service, he made threats that he would get them fired because he “worked for the government.”
14. The smoking stripper: $4,400 fine
Fotios Tahliambouris, passenger on a JetBlue from Montego Bay, Jamaica to New York City on Dec. 17, 2012
According to the report, Tahliambouris “repeatedly banged a large wooden beaded necklace” on the back of the seat in front of him, then began to take off his shirt and loudly mumble profanities. That’s before he “smoked in the aircraft lavatory approximately four times” during the flight.