Ari Manuel “Manny” Pargman entered the University of Colorado Boulder in August as “the happiest person on the planet,” his loved ones say. But just four months later, he took his own life.
The eighteen-year-old freshman died by suicide on December 4; Manny’s body was discovered near Ski Jump Trail in Chautauqua Park, according to the Boulder County Coroner’s Office. His death has rocked the CU Boulder community — but it isn’t the first suicide the university has faced this year. Or the second.
Before Manny, three other CU Boulder students had killed themselves since the start of the fall semester in August, according to the coroner’s office. That’s four student suicides in just as many months.
“Something is terribly wrong on our college campuses,” Manny’s father, Benjamin Pargman, said during a memorial event on December 10. “Manny was happy in Boulder, Manny was happy as a Buff. That’s what makes this so bizarre. He loved you, he talked about you, he wanted to be there. … In hindsight, I wish I’d hopped on a plane and yanked my son out of there.”
It’s unclear whether the four student suicides this semester are an unusual occurrence. The university does not keep track of how many of its students kill themselves.
“The university does not keep a comprehensive record of the cause of death for the student population,” says Nicole Mueksch, a spokesperson for CU Boulder. “Deaths are tracked by the county in which the student passes. Only a coroner or medical examiner can determine a cause of death. CU Boulder frequently does not have any information on cause of death, whether a death occurred on or off campus.”
Although Boulder County was able to identify how many CU students had committed suicide since August, when Westword sought data for the past five years, the county rejected the open records request, saying, “No records exist that are responsive to your request. Boulder County is not required to manipulate data in order to respond to CORA requests with a new record.”
There have been fourteen suicide deaths in Boulder County among victims between the ages of eighteen and 29 so far this year — down from 23 last year, but up from twelve in 2022 and thirteen in 2021, according to the coroner’s office dashboard. The dashboard does not specify how many of the deceased were CU students.
After Manny’s death, his father said he was surprised that the university president hadn’t reached out to offer condolences or express shock at the tragedy. That is, until the Boulder detective investigating Manny’s case told him that Manny was CU’s fourth student suicide.
“I said, ‘Wow, four. In how many years?’ He said, ‘Manny was the fourth this semester so far,'” Pargman recounted during Manny’s memorial. “Apparently, not so shocking to a university president.”
Although it was only Manny’s first semester at CU, he had quickly integrated himself into the university’s community. He was a member of the Alpha Epsilon Pi fraternity and a DJ who performed at parties and events around campus. Friends describe him as a “vibrant spirit (who) lit up every room he entered.”
Pargman says Manny’s troubles began when he “messed up the timing” of an online midterm exam and was locked out, giving him a zero on the test and lowering his grade to an F in the class. Pargman claims Manny’s professor refused to let him retake the test and the university’s Disability Services Office, which Manny was registered with for a learning disability, declined to help because Manny hadn’t properly notified the professor of his status at the start of the semester.
From there, Manny missed his writing class for three weeks in a row, unbeknownst to his father. Though Manny told his friends and family he was okay, Pargman says he became concerned for his son after a family weekend visit. Pargman called the New Student & Family Programs Office to express his worries, but says they just told him, “The first semester is hard on all students. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
“In hindsight, it can almost start to appear obvious. Admittedly, we didn’t see it then,” Pargman said at the memorial. “As parents, we’re legally and bureaucratically blocked out as to what we can do and the information we’re even allowed to have access to for our eighteen-year-old adult children.
“Only the university has the pieces to the puzzle in their systems and the processes as it’s happening.”
Now, Pargman is pushing for administrative change at CU Boulder. In a YouTube video with nearly 20,000 views, he offers ideas for how the university can help prevent deaths like his son’s from happening in the future.
His suggestions include encouraging professors to be more accommodating of test retakes; giving first-semester students a one-time “Manny card” pass to override a professor’s grading policy; automatically notifying parents or counseling services when a student misses a certain number of classes in a row; and changing the way the Disability Services and New Student & Family Programs offices respond to concerns raised by students and family members.
In general, though, Pargman wants the university to take on more responsibility in recognizing signs leading up to suicide and taking action to intervene, noting that the university’s suicide prevention web page places the burden on students as individuals. Although Pargman doesn’t think the issue is unique to CU Boulder, he believes there is more all universities can do, including CU.
“My brain can’t stop collecting dozens of ‘what ifs.’ Could it have been different? No one carries the burden and the torture of that ‘what if’ more than me. I didn’t see it when it was happening,” Pargman said. “But there are some things to learn and do differently for someone else.”
Spokesperson Mueksch says the university has been in contact with Pargman since Manny’s memorial.
“The University of Colorado Boulder was heartbroken to hear of the passing of Manny,” Mueksch says. “The health, safety and well-being of the CU Boulder campus community remain our highest priorities, and we are regularly evaluating ways to improve how we offer support and resources to our campus community.”
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Mueksch highlighted CU Boulder’s “comprehensive and multi-pronged approach to suicide prevention efforts that include education, community awareness, skill-building and intervention training, clinical support and postvention services.”
She says the university has launched suicide prevention and mental health campaigns informing students on how to respond to crises, in addition to training faculty on recognizing and responding to signs of suicidal ideation. She also noted CU Boulder’s various workshops and events throughout the year aimed at reaching students who are struggling while also destigmatizing conversations about suicide.
Mueksch did not specify whether the university is considering adopting any of Pargman’s policy suggestions to prevent student suicides.
Pargman says it’s not about his specific proposals, but about acknowledging that the current system isn’t working and taking steps to fix it.
“Maybe some of these ideas will help. Maybe not. Maybe we need other ideas,” Pargman said at his son’s memorial. “As we learn in pirkei avot [Jewish text of ethical teachings], it is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to absolve yourself from it.
“So let’s begin.”